Currently Listening The Wall (Deluxe Packaging Digitally Remastered) By Pink Floyd Goodbye Cruel World see related

Letting Sleeping Blogs Lie

I return to you all, ironically, to tell you that I'm leaving. 

I know, I know.  You're all probably thinking "Thank you Captain Obvious."  But I thought that I would, at least, give those last few stubborn individuals who haven't yet given up on me a final bit of closure.

I started this blog about two years ago in order to get some ideas out of my head, to force myself to write, and to give myself some sort of intellectual exercise in a town as intellectually devoid as professional wrestling and Fox News.

In the year that I was writing, I met quite a few new people, many of them quite intelligent, and I had a hell of a time writing, reading, and being read.  Over time, I gained quite an audience as well, which fed the ego I never knew I had.

But eventually, several things happened that got me completely burnt out.  First, blogging started to feel less like a pastime and more like an unpaid job.  I started to feel like I was expected to write, which put pressure on me I didn't really want.  And worse, not just pressure to write my own stuff, but pressure to keep up with everyone elses.  It got to the point that if I was gone for more than two days, a hundred people would come on going "Why don't you read me anymore?!  You're never on here anymore!  Where are you?!  Blah blah blah!"

Then, I also started getting sick of the whole psycho-depressed-overdramatic-high schooler bullshit I started seeing with more and more frequency on Xanga.  The thoughts and opinions of people my age were getting drowned by "Like, OMG, my boyfriend broke up with me.  Life sucks, I want to kill myself.  Blah blah blah."  And Xanga itself became less of a marketplace of ideas and more of a competition to see how many props one could accumulate, with all these fucking emo queens leaving inane comments on thousands of journals just so they could get on the Featured Content list.

There were a few other incidents as well, romantic dramas, a car accident, grad school disappoints that, a year ago in March, finally broke me down enough to just hermit myself away from humanity and try to regroup.

However, I have been debating about starting up again.  I've been writing a lot more lately, this time on a novel I started working on last summer, and thought that starting the whole blogging thing again would get my creative juices flowing. 

But the same issues that broke me away from Xanga still haunted me, and with reinforcements.  I don't know what the fuck happened to Xanga while I've been gone, but it's become this retarded Orwellian 1984 popularity contest with the whole footprints and props system.  Sorry, but I like to read people's blogs at my own leisure.  If I want them to know I've been there, I'll send them a fucking comment.  If they don't like it, they can just go to fucking private and get their fucking diapers changed in peace.

So, it is with this in mind that I finally say goodbye.  My sister has talked me into getting set up in Livejournal, which is, according to her, a much more mature and much less invasive place to write.  No props, no footprints, no popularity contest.  Just people writing down their lives in a pressure-free zone.

Should any of you whom I haven't managed to piss off with this final farewell wish to keep in contact, and should you happen to have a Livejournal account, you can find me at clone_six.

Until then, catch you on the flip side, yo.

In sanity,

The Jon formerly known as Wonko

Currently Watching Mr. Klein By Alain Delon, Jeanne Moreau see related

American Politics with a Twist of Irony

About 2000 years ago, someone once said "He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword."  The fact that the speaker at the time was a cult leader who was later executed for his crimes against humanity (at least in the eyes of the era's strict conservatives) is neither here nor there.  His words are all too painfully true.

His Majesty, King George II, is closer to being deposed than he has ever been.  His approval rating is currently plummeting to near subterranean levels, leaving only the most hardcore fascists that, apparently, make up 37 percent of our population. 

It's kind of a scary thought, actually.  Three people (and, statistically, one conscious, ambulatory torso) out of every 10 you see on the street are fascists.  Think about it.

Several democrats running for the House and Senate are running on an impeachment platform.  Although the Grand Old Party aren't taking such extreme measures as of yet, they have been consistently turning their backs on ol' George, proving either that the Republicans aren't the bastion of unholy evil I had always thought them to be or, at the very least, rats are wise enough to know when it's time to leave a sinking ship.  Dubya's currently sailing on either the Titanic or the Exxon Valdez.  I haven't decided yet which would better fit the analogy.

Bush is about to join the ranks of such beloved and influential politicians as Richard "Tricky Dick" Nixon and Adolph "Deutschland Uber Alles" Hitler.

And why all this sudden loathing for Bush?  Is it the fact that he blithely ignored so many dire warnings of terrorist attacks prior to 9/11 (that's "nine-eleven" by the way, not "nine-one-one")?  Is it because he dragged us into a war with a country that had absolutely nothing to do with said attack on U.S. soil?  Is it because he has purposefully used said war to rape and pillage said country, to nab petroleum for a nice hefty profit?  Is it because he willingly and shamelessly spied on his own citizens, particularly (and you'll love this) peace demonstrators?  Is it because he lowered taxes for the rich, raised taxes for almost everyone else, and almost single-handedly eviscerated our economy, wiping out our Clinton-years surplus and leaving us with an almost Regan-years deficit?  Is it because his response to Hurricane Katrina was so pathetically flimsy?  Is it because, when all is said and done, he's just an all-around bastard, using his lofty position to make gobs of money through corporate pandering, war-profiteering, and deliberate, conscientious ignorance?

No.  It's because he tried to sell our ports to a company that, more than likely, has as many ties to Al Qaida as Donald Rumsfeld.  A company that, it just so happens, is run by Arabs. 

And therein lies the irony.

You see kids, in order to justify a war against a country that was completely uninvolved with a horrible attack against our own, Bush had to rouse up a lot of anti-Arab sentiment.  Although he goes on TV claiming that not all Arabs are evil, to not blame those living and working in the United States, he still goes on to paint a picture of the Arab world as a God-forsaken desert wasteland filled with a bunch of frothing, barbaric zealots who would sooner blow you up with 20 pounds of nitro-glycerin strapped to his chest than look at you.  Right there, in between every line of every speech, is this subliminal message repeating over and over in our collective subconscious, saying "Ragheads are the spawn of Satan."  And it worked. 

Doubt it?  Go to the library and check out some political cartoons in every newspaper between 2001 and 2003, and compare images of Middle-Easterners with those of Jews in Nazi propaganda.  Or review news broadcasts on CNN or, God forbid, Fox News, and tell me how many images you see of Arabs toting AK 47's versus ordinary Arabs just living from day to day.  By the time all was said and done, every Joe Six-Pack was absolutely convinced that the word "Arab" or "Muslim" was synonymous with the word "terrorist."

I've had personal experience with this.  In 2002, I worked as an undergrad research assistant for the Sociology Department at ISU.  During that time, I conducted biannual telephone polls throughout Terre Haute and Vigo County regarding race and ethnicity.  I asked questions like "how would you feel if your son or daughter was in an interracial relationship" or "on a scale from 1 to 5, how comfortable would you feel around an African American?  A Hispanic?", et cetera.  And for the most part, if the answers weren't accepting, they were at least neutral, giving me at least a little hope for the future.  Regarding the interracial relationship question, the worst I heard was "I wouldn't really like it, but if that's what she wants..."

Asking about someone from Middle-Eastern descent, however, was a different matter.  There was more open hostility towards Arabs than any other ethnic group.  I had one guy say "I know I probably sound like a bigot, but I really don't like Arabs.  I don't like having them in this country.  I think that, even after all we've done for them, all they want to do is destroy our country."  I'm not exaggerating here.  He said that, verbatim.

So, with all that ham-fisted propaganda from the post 9/11 years, all that angry sentiment constantly stirred up by news broadcasts or Bush's revisionist view of history (I particularly enjoyed the fact that the mayor of L.A. had no clue his city was in danger from an alleged terrorist attack in 2003), Bush somehow expected American citizens to embrace Dubai Ports with open arms, and was completely shocked when they didn't.

Believe it or not, I'm willing to give Bush some benefit of the doubt.  And believe me, I'm probably the last person in this country who would ever want to.  But there is simply no conceivable way that the president, with so many shrewd and cunning advisors surrounding him, would possibly think that this company would move under the American radar if it had any significant ties to Al Qaida.  And the fact that he so staunchly supported something he claimed he knew nothing about until after the fact suggests he knew exactly what was going on, as well as the ins and outs of Dubai's business practices.  I seriously don't think any American president, not even Bush, could possibly be that abysmally stupid, unless one of his top advisors was purposefully misleading him.  A Brutus, in a way, trying to subtly overthrow our Caesar.

But what I think, and what the people think, are two entirely separate things.  After all, we have been told time and again over the past few years that "Arab" and "Terrorist" are virtually identical in meaning, right?  And all but two Republican politicians agree that this move was political suicide.  One that could shake the previously iron grip the conservatives have had on this country.  Bush's stupidity wasn't in inviting a company owned by terrorists to take over our major ports (which he didn't), but that he invited a company that the people would be absolutely convinced is owned by terrorists to take over our ports (which he did).

Hence, going back to the beginning, "He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword."  Evil always contains the seeds of its own destruction.  All the anti-Arab brainwashing we've had since 9/11 has come back around to bite our Fuhrer right on his most fleshy extremity.  Before 9/11, the American people wouldn't have given a flying fuck if he sold our ports to little green men from Mars, let alone Middle-Easterners.  But now, because of his lust for Arabian oil, he has made us believe that there is a bomb-bearing Arab lingering around in every backyard in this country.

Which leaves me skewered on the horns of a dilemma.  On the one hand, this is a dream come true for me.  There is a very real possibility that this incident will force everyone, Democrat and Republican alike, to look at Bush's career under a microscope and maybe, just maybe, impeach the bastard.

After all, if we almost impeached a president for receiving fellatio from an intern, why haven't we impeached a president for war-profiteering?  Getting illicit blowjobs from an intern, though technically immoral under the "Thou shalt not commit adultery" clause of Judeo-Christian law, isn't technically illegal under the book of Constitutional law.  Instigating a war for commercial profit, however, is.  In a big way.  In our country, in the U.N., and under the Geneva convention.  To allow such an act to slip through the judiciary process would set a terrifying precedent for American politics and our global economy; outright war solely for corporate gain.  And I doubt the families of the thousands of soldiers killed in the Middle East would be pleased to know they died, not for the security of the United States, but the security of Halliburton stockholders like, for example, George Bush (both of them) and Dick "Elmer Fudd" Cheney (who, let us not forget, was once the CEO).

As a side-note, if this shitstorm does take place, I hope it takes out Cheney too.  I doubt Vice President Fudd would be much of an improvement on Bush's America.

But on the other hand, does the end justify the means?  Getting impeached, not because he's an evil bastard, but because of our ingrained ethic prejudice that automatically assumes that Dubai is Al Qaida-operated simply because it's Arab?  I could say that either way, Bush would be punished for his crimes against humanity.  After all, he's the reason the average American hates all things Middle-Eastern.  But I can't help feeling that's a very squirmy way around the fact that, for once, he'll be punished for the only thing he's done since he's been in office that technically wasn't a crime.  Wrong, yes (I loathe market globalization).  But not, strictly speaking, criminal.

I only hope, for my own conscience, that people do a better job of finding ties between Dubai and Al Qaida than Bush did with Iraq.  Whatever did happen to that massive stockpile of Iraqi WMD's, anyway?  I'll bet, as always, it'll be in the last place we look.

The peak of "Mt. Rumpke," an enormous landfill outside of Cincinnati, circa September of 2005.  Pretty well sums up my feelings about American politics over the past few years.  As an interesting, and appropriate, side-note, they recently took the letters down, though the flag still remains.

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By the way, my former professor/mentor, Dr. Barad, sent me an email with a nifty little trick you can do in your very own home.

Go to www.google.com .  Type in asshole.  Hit I'm feeling lucky.  And enjoy.

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Currently Reading Cat's Cradle By Kurt Vonnegut see related

Three Rules For a Happy Life

Yes, yes.  I know.  I'm getting bad about the whole updating thing.

The thing is, I don't really have too much to say, and rather than waste everyone's time with a bunch of inane quizzes, I prefer to remain silent.

However, in lieu of more personal post, I thought I would instead give you all a step up on your journey towards premature enlightenment.

This world is confusing and complex, and we have very little to guide us through our difficult choices and modern problems.  Philosophy has never been more important or necessary than it is now.  The problem with philosophy, however, coming from a philosophy student, is that it's too long and to complicated for your average Joe or Jane, respectively, to understand.  Thus, it fails to be either practical or life-changing.

However, brevity is the soul of wit, as the great bard once said.  And as such, I have been meditating non-stop in order to come up with something much shorter and easier to remember.  A bumper-sticker philosophy, as it were.

After days of constant fasting, uncomfortable lotus positions, and probably too much incense for my health and mental well-being, I now have to offer three rules that consolidate and simplify the most important teachings of all the major philosophers.  Following these three rules will offer you a much happier, healthier, and more authentic existence.

Memorize these.  Print them out and frame them in visible place.  I guarantee they will change your life or your money back.

Jon's Three Rules for a Happy Life

Rule #1: Do everything anyone tells you to do, even those things that contradict the things other people tell you or, as the case may be, the same person tells you.

Rule #2: Fuck Rule #1.

Rule #3: Fuck Rule #2 while you're at it.  Do you really need someone to tell you not to do what people tell you to do?

And that, dear friends, has pretty much exhausted my reserve of sarcastic profundity.  Until next time, catch ya on the flip-side.

Currently Watching Reality Bites By Ethan Hawke, Winona Ryder see related

The Only Forward I Would Ever Forward

If you are like every other internet personality on the internet super-interstate, or at least like every other internet personality who doesn't live in a digital cave in a binary mountainside in the middle of a pixelated Tibet, you probably get forwards.  And if you're one of the more popular of these completely digitized personalities, you get a helluva lot of them.

Personally, I can't stand them.  Partly because they clog up my email, and 75 percent of the time containing so much maudlin and ignorant gibberish that I avert my eyes lest my brain cells see them and kill themselves in sympathy for those of the author's who died so nobly in the writing of them.

The other reason is that, more often than not, the forwards come from Spam Harvesters.

Spam Harvester, noun: One who emails a forward, often with a heartfelt message, a fabricated charity, or a faux get-rich-quick scheme, to as many people as possible in the hopes that it will eventually return to him or her with the email addresses of thousands of people, and will then sell those addresses to companies who send out Spam.

As far as I know, I'm the only one who as ever coined that particular term.  I'm rather proud of that.  It's a very good term.

I usually delete them.  And if I receive them often enough, threaten ex-communication to the sender, lest my Spam-free email address become violated with hundreds of breast augmentation ads a day.

I think my man-boobs are large enough as they are, thank you.  I'm comfortable with the size of my man-boobs.

However, I received one the other day from my best friend, that I felt worthy of sending on.  However, because I would feel hypocritical to send it as a mass forward, and because forwarding it individually would take more time than it is worth, I shall post it on Xanga, and leave it to the rest of you whether you would like to send it on or not.

A truly free choice.  You get so few of them in this day and age.

[note: I did not write this forward, though I really wish I did.  Proof that not all the great satirists are dead.]

Subject:  You have made my year.  I love you all.

Currently Listening Wildflowers By Tom Petty Time to Move On see related

Will Jon Escape the Black Hole? Next on Oprah... (how's that, Lynn?)

Funny old thing, life.

It's still pretty early to hear from my grad schools, but I've already heard from the two in Indiana.  A few weeks ago, no more than a few weeks after the deadline hit, IU swiftly rejected me, not even giving me the courtesy of an actual letter, sending me a lengthy template email instead.  Thankfully, it wasn't one of the schools I was banking on, and it's hard to be dissapointed about a school when you didn't have you're hopes up in the first place.

Yesterday, however, I was surprised by a letter from Purdue.  Considering my thorough rejection from IU, as well as the fact that this letter arrived earlier than my first rejection letter from Purdue, I immediately assumed the worst.

Why would they be sending me a letter so soon, when March is the norm?  Not good news, I imagined.

So, taking the letter into the house, already expecting the worst, I did my best to coach myself.  "It's like a band-aid," I thought.  "Just rip it off quickly and get it over with."  So ripped it open I did.

"Dear Mr. Hiers, we are pleased to inform you..."

This was all I read before I started dancing around the house like a chimpanzee on speed.

Purdue, it seems, has decided to give me another chance.  According to the letter, the Philosophy Department of Purdue has accepted me for the doctoral program.  Not masters, mind you (I had the option that, if rejected from the doctoral program, I would be considered for the masters program), but the full-fledged doctoral program.

This isn't official, according to the letter.  But no reason to let my hopes down.  Submitting my application to the Graduate Studies department is only a beaurocratic formality.  For all intents and purposes, I'm already accepted, pending only the proper forms.

After three years in financial exile in this cultural/intellectual black hole that is Peru Indiana, it seems I finally have a one-way ticket out.  One way or another, come August I'm outta here!

Not too far, however.  West Lafayette is only an hour and a half from Peru.  But perhaps this isn't a bad thing.  My best friend is moving back from Arizona, and since I don't need to go to school in a completely different state, I'll actually get to see him more often than just once every year or two.  Not to mention the fact that his uncle's restaurant, Bruno's Swiss Inn, who serves the finest plate of fettucini alfredo I have ever had, just happens to be in West Lafayette.  And other benefit, should the need arise where I have no choice but to pay tuition out-of-pocket, I'll only have to pay In-State tuition, which is significantly less than if I ended up in another state.

The decision to attend is not yet definite.  After all, I still have three other schools to hear from, schools that might offer me a better financial aid package than Purdue.  However, it does mean that, no matter if I get rejected from the other schools, I'll have at least one school I know will take me in.

I finally get to move on with my life.  To pick up where I left off three years ago, rather than being stuck indefinitely with a degree I can't use, working in a factory I can't stand, living in a town that can't think.

"Time to move on, time to get going.  What lies ahead I have no way of knowing.  But under my feet, babe, the grass is growing.  It's time to move on.  It's time to get going." -Tom Petty, Time to Move On

And just for transvestite_rabbit...

"You say the hill's too steep to climb?  Climb it.  You say you'd like to see me try climbing?  You pick the place and I'll choose the time, and I'll climb that hill in my own way.  Just wait a while for the right day.  And as I rise above the treelines and the clouds, I'll look down, hearing the sounds of the things you said today."  -Pink Floyd, Fearless